2008

I am pretty sure that after the age of...

Don’t get mad at me for being ageist. This is based on empirical evidence collected from...

Did anyone else think Wanted was...

How your Emily Gould gossip sausage gets...

Today is my first day off in seven...

I plan on spending it watching TiVo’d episodes of Oprah. First up: ‘A mother horribly...

I just sent an email to someone and...

frangry: And I am not even kidding. That actually happened. Hahahahahaha.

In which I am older tham John McCain.

Last night I called 911 because kids were setting off fireworks in the park across from my house....

3 Movie Characters With Whom I Identify

Katie Morosky in The Way We Were Mirabelle in Shopgirl Celine in Before Sunset I will...

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Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you?
Random woman on the street: Yeah.
Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it?
Random woman on the street: Uh, I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.
Random man on the street: And I'm exactly the same way.
Alvy Singer: I see. Wow. That's very interesting. So you've managed to work out something?

“But then, I’m a man (as far as you—and I—know!), so I...”
— Choire hits the sudden and...

These are my new bosses. There are multiple reasons...

Something for Jakob the Inventor to work...

Underwear that can be removed without taking off my sweatpants. You know, like bras from under...

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Since everyone (no one) has been asking,...

So I think Mary Rambin and Jakob Lodwick actually have a lot in common and that is their crippling...

jessicagoldharalson: “Cashew, a 14 year old Labrador...

Dear Tracie, Sometimes I love you. Sometimes you show your...

Daily dose of M.I.A. After reading this post over on Jezebel...

Last night I dreamt I made out with a...

Guys, this is concerning. In my defense, it was a Wishbone-style talking dog and he was super...

thinning the herd

jakoblodwick: I’ve unfollowing people on Tumblr because there is simply too much good stuff. It’s an...

“I’m here for me and you’re here for me. No...”
— George Carlin.

If you could give your high school self...

juliaallison: So … I’m asking you - if you could give your high school self advice upon graduation,...

Me: ok so susan sent me an im while i was away
Katie: does she have anal warts?
Me: she said that the average woman kisses 29 people before they get married
and she has kissed 20
Katie: oh
Me: so she only has 9 left!
Katie: i was thinking actually the other day about how many people ive kissed
and i have no idea
Me: so now i'm trying to think of how many people i've kissed
Katie: ugh im too drunk
i was sober the other day and i couldnt even do it
Me: i counted 13
oh 14
erika
no, at least 17
Katie: only 13 away from your HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
youre over half way there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can i count girls?
that i kissed for show?
in high school?
Me: i did
Katie: ok
Me: but i guess they're not potential husbands

Daily dose of M.I.A.

“Half the time I’m inappropriate and like five percent...”
— Dale speaks for us all at the...

HD TV makes Gossip Girl look like a bad...

Specifically, Sugar Rush.

Daily dose of M.I.A. style. (No, that wasn’t just a...

Unhelpful emails from my mother (a...

From my inbox this morning: http://philanthropynw.org/job-bank/Default.htm [Redacted] was saying at...

Say it ain't so! M.I.A. reportedly retiring.

In 2005 I bought this limited edition of Stella Sheer and it...

So I just caught Recount on HBO...

goodyerin: keepinganotebook: Anyway, I was fourteen in November of 2000 and have been...

maryrambin: I’ve always thought a peanut butter and jelly...

So I just caught Recount on HBO...

and I cried more watching this movie than I did in The Notebook. (It should be noted that I did not...

frangry: Just for you, keepinganotebook. Lawn chairs make...

Whenever I'm on vacation with my...

I hope Luke Russert wasn’t thinking that. (So there’s no confusion about me being an...

“The whole rhythm of his life was built around that show. The...”
— Doris Kearns-Goodwin on MSNBC...

Daily dose of M.I.A. style.

frangry: Oof. Her style works for her, and that’s cool. I was just saying that in order to be as...

“You can’t whitewash the planet into good and evil,...”
— M.I.A.

Daily dose of M.I.A. style. For Frangry.

“We are not in a position to withdraw our troops from Iraq...”
— Reza Aslan. About a year ago I...

Although I am not totally sold on Fareed Zakaria (he’s...

What steps do I take to become this fucking cool?

Sometimes I wonder why I make fun of American Apparel if I...

I couldn't help by wonder...

why all my friends hated Sex and the City so much. Except for when Carrie SPOLILER completely...

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Why aren't there women like Elaine Benes...

I miss the 90s. Not all female celebrities were over-sexualized, the economy was booming, and I...

“Politics were always about as relevant to me as a new Erica...”
— Carrie Bradshaw: Feminist...

Want.

A really good sandwich I'm pretty sure I...

Hummus, pesto, goat cheese, spinach, and red onions on dense wheat bread. But also, one...

“My doctor is black, by the way. He’s really nice...”
— My grandmother.

“I don’t want to sound like I’m prejudiced cause...”
— My grandmother’s...

My favorite thing about my favorite dive...

It’s not that it’s within walking distance of my house (though that is an awesome...

I need a job so bad.

I think it’s causing me physical pain. I’m applying to positions that require five years...

So fantastic.

“My sympathies are all with the Jews. They have been the...”
— Mahatma Gandhi in 1938.

I may have just found the home addresses...

I’m using the term ‘celebrities’ loosely here. I mean Bryant Gumbel and Maria...

Warren Jeffs Took Me Behind The Middle...

That was the team name that won me a pitcher of beer tonight at a pub quiz. I couldn’t have...

What's the big deal with Jhumpa Lahiri?

Sorry, but I don’t get it, and I’m a total Orientalist retard for all things Indian so...

Since everyone (no one) has been asking,...

Hey guys, I thought we all liked Emily Gould? I mean not Denton, obviously, but the rest of us? Sure...

“I’m never going to be famous. I don’t do anything, not one...”
— Dorothy Parker (via...

Now I remember why I hate meeting new...

I will undoutedly get drunk, make out with them, and the new relationship will be too fragile to...

melanieflood: I am so cranky, is anyone else out there taking Yaz? I just began this past Sunday,...

Have you read those books or are you...

noraleah: Below is a list of 106 books most often marked as “unread” by LibraryThing users....

After the week I've had, this only makes...

I mean we all have nights where we do things like tear off our bikini tops and throw ourselves over...

A sudden appreciation for Ayn Rand.

Though I often talk about how much I hate Ayn Rand, I’ve never actually read a work of hers in...

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overit: Albertus Seba’s Cabinet of Natural Curiosities...

I think that instead of blood, there is...

You know how when you stumble into your living room the morning after having people over and it...

After seeing pictures of Lily Allen's...

Then I realized that I’m currently wearing a skirt with nothing underneath. Carry on,...

Tonight a friend is holding a sex toy...

I hope to take lots of pictures of people I know either giving head to or getting cock slapped by...

I want to fuck this dude so bad. Although he may be a...

“Florida’s Cubans [are responsible for] sleaze and...”
— Michael Moore. I always have...

I want to get a motorcycle so I can...

Except I’m too afraid to even ride bicycles.

Hopes and dreams.

I want to someday meet a girl named Cristal. In my fantasy, her parents will have named her that...

Why the fuck is Oprah doing an America's...

Just kidding, I probably don’t have daddy issues. 

Chelsea Handler has authored two books...

They are called: Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea and My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One...

“By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing,...”
— Dorothy Parker (via sarahb)

So I’m watching this past life...

And some guy is hypnotizing the audience so they remember previous incarnations of themselves....

“We live in a time when our government is telling us some...”
— David Sedaris.

My favorite part of this? How much bigger Lois’s...

“Steph—dumb, but fun & nice”
— My journal notes on Stephanie...

ANNOUNCEMENT.

I KNEW STEPHANIE PRATT IN HIGH SCHOOL, which I just realized during happy hour this evening. We went...

Mysteries: Who's Stalking You On Facebook?

I just shaved my legs for the first time...

And it’s cause I’m going to the gynocologist, not cause I’m getting laid or...

Last night's Gossip Girl.

I can never tell whether everyone else in the world is a lot stupider than I am (unlikely) or if TV...

I have no fucking idea how I came up...

For some reason I always think Cormac McCarthy is Australian and The Road is about growing up in...

“The emancipated educated woman is untouchable; she acquires...”
— Sheila Rowbotham in...

“Men will often admit that other women are oppressed but not...”
— Sheila Rowbotham in...

I have no fucking idea how I came up...

I had to buy someone a drink tonight because I was convinced that Hannah Montana starred Joe...

Sometimes, when I feel like my rage...

Post-improv show, I headed to a Country Club themed birthday party (the best part was that the...

Now I kinda want these Apple Bottom jeans.

“Yo cutie, when you gonna dance wit me?”
— A high school student, to me,...

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“Israel has advanced as an amazingly successful and...”
— Fred Barnes again. I’m...

“They export things; they export oil and terrorists!”
— Fred Barnes on Fox News just...

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At the risk of sounding like a horrible...

…I have to admit that I would happily wear nothing but J.Crew for the rest of my life.

WTF Lost.

Mysteries mysteries mysteries.

Serena's secret

miss-r: I know no one’s going to believe me on this (because, well, I never posted about it), but...

Do you sometimes wonder what you ever...

Karli: so this girl in my sorority wanted to get on this guy that originally was supposed to be for me
and so being the nice lady that i am i let her have him, but i could totally have been fucking him if i wasn't so nice
he actually said to her "oh i would have slept with karli if you hadn't been there"
and then he kept complimenting me the last time i was at his house and saying he wanted to double team us
Me: how romantic

So apparently there’s some kind of scandal that the...

Too hung over to post anything today.

I woke up this morning to find out that I had barfed red wine across my beige carpet. Classy. And...

So I've been watching a lot of Oprah...

And I’ve decided I really hate people who lose their shit over celebrities. Like the woman who...

empathy quotient quiz

Yves Saint Laurent cigarettes, a gift from the Nicaraguan...

My (Asian) friend, who waitresses at a...

Carrie: i swear they are exactly like my sri lankan host parents
Carrie: especially because they are asian
me: thats the main thing
Carrie: yeah
Carrie: and they're really good about making gross generalizations about cultures and people and stuff, just like sri lankans!
me: yay!
Carrie: like richard told me the other day that we shouldn't have a female president bc of how women are always going to the mall and buying things they don't even want
me: so true

Even though it has already been revealed that Eric is the...

“Could you fall in love with her if she wasn’t smarter than...”
— Caravaggio in The English...

The Red Dress by Dorothy Parker.

I always saw, I always saidIf I were grown and free,I’d have a gown of reddest redAs fine as...

Why I Am Not A Painter by Frank O'Hara.

I am not a painter, I am a poet.Why? I think I would rather bea painter, but I am not. Well,for...

Unexpectedly fucking adorable. (via anjalouise)

I don’t really know what I’m supposed to wear to...

Embarrassing things that I need to buy.

Anti-dandruff shampoo That vag pH test that tells you if you have a yeast infection Possibly...

Like chocolate and peanut butter.

Also, this one. Original content to come...

Why this tumblr is in my top 5.  yourmonkeycalled: If you’re out of stuff to read in Google Reader,...